It has been a week of heartbreak and horror. As I awoke on Monday morning I had felt a shift, a dark cloud had been lifted. I was sitting in a rut for weeks about big decisions I needed to make and everything just felt incredibly overwhelming. It was hard for me to see the truth with so much noise around me. Monday morning came and the feeling felt resolved, I was ready to walk forward into this week with so much life. Little did I know a very different story was unraveling across the globe. Later that day I heard about the devastating attack in Manchester. My heart plummeted into my stomach with a wave of nausea and panic. My home soil, my roots are planted in that very Country. My mother, my father, my sisters, my childhood friends all still reside there. Although they live hundreds of miles away, the fear of something so tragic and grotestic could strike again, elsewhere, left me chilled. Once the safety of my closest and dearest were confirmed the scale of what had happened in Manchester weighed down on me like a ton of bricks. The reality too devastating to really put into words. As a parent, as a sister, as a daughter my heart breaks for these families who were torn apart and became victims to terrorists. How do we not let this fear penetrate our core and go on living each day as if we are not at war with surprise attackers. We are all shocked, then we process, then as time goes by it is not that we forget but we become complacent again. It may linger inside but we have to move forward and not be afraid to go on living our lives. What good comes out of hiding. As the time moves past us, people are back in their rhythm and the out of the blue another freighting hit. How do we stop this pattern. Now Innocent children and teenagers who are participating in life, excited for weeks to see an idol perform, become a target? It is unthinkable yet it happened and many lives were lost. How do we come to peace with this? How does one continue to show up for events such as these, with or without our children, at the very possibility of it happening again in a copy cat attempt. I hear the chants of people saying "We are not afraid", holding signs in protest and love. But aren't we all a little afraid. I feel so far from my family yet I hold my daughter closer than ever. All I can do is pray, pray for a better world. Gain trust through my daughters innocence. Live my life to the fullest each and every day. Not stress over the little things and remain in complete gratitude everyday that for today we are ok. And for the rest of today, my prayers and thoughts will be with all those families and residents of Manchester.
I would love to hear how you are walking through these experiences? What you are doing to stay positive? I could use some suggestions to stay calm and remain positive through this scary time.